I just walked past a newspaper that was lying on the table and that headline is what caught my eye, “Punished For Doing Nothing Wrong”.
It made me stop and think. THIS is exactly why TSW hurts so much, emotionally and physically and mentally. Because all of us, in good faith, accepted these steroid creams prescribed by doctors. We just wanted to manage our eczema and get it under control. It is not our fault we’re in this predicament of feeling trapped in our itchy, red, bodies feeling hopeless that they’re ever going to emerge looking new and fresh and healthy-skinned.
If I was a drug addict, who had consciously chosen to pollute my body with heroin and meth and crack, and was now reaping the repercussions of withdrawal, then sure, in many ways, I probably deserved what was coming to me.
But that wasn’t me. All I was, was an atopic girl with a history of mild eczema who didn’t want to have rashes. I was even one of the few that would literally sit down with the folded medication info that comes in the box and READ the whole thing! I wanted to be informed about what I was putting on my body. But it never says in those pamphlets, “Hey, if you use these for more than a few days, your skin may get horribly addicted and you’re going to have to deal with a huge variety of disgusting, unsightly, maddening symptoms that are a whole lot worse than plain ol’ eczema”. Nowhere in the printouts for Desonide, Protopic, Elidel, or Mometasone furoate does it say these things, or even HINT at the notion that your skin can get addicted and then go through a withdrawal. I can tell you this because I READ ALL OF THEM. And most doctors never tell you this either. And this is why we’re all here.
I guess I am continuing to get better, even though it’s so true what they say, that it’s like watching hair grow. TSW now is still unsightly and completely annoying, but a little more tolerable. If I’m alone or in bed, I still itch almost constantly on some days, and I still have to have all my limbs covered (and my neck, on most days). I just want to wear what I want to wear, instead of having TSW dictate my personal style (or current lack thereof, lol). I still have a “skin curfew” where I need to be getting ready for bed by 8 or 9 pm at night or I get stressed out and itchy. I constantly want to sleep a lot and eat a lot. With the eating, I’m not sure if my body really needs many extra calories as it rebuilds, or if I’m just seeking to fill an emotional hunger.
Anyway, some of you nice blog friends wanted a pic of my new short hair, so here you go 😀 I have concealer on in this picture so my face looks good! I just feel the need to point out I don’t have skin this clear yet naturally! 🙂