Things to Say if You Are The Spouse/Partner of Someone with TSW

First a quick update.  64 days and counting.  My rashes came back a little bit from this weekend when I was doing much better, and the oozing is back again, but not so bad.  One symptom that I’m really glad to be rid of (and I hope it’s gone for good!) is when the skin around my eyes gets so dry and tight that it’s uncomfortable to blink or open my eyes wide.  So far I’ve had a good 5-7 days or more without that happening!  I wonder when the second flare will come or if it will come at all, maybe I”ll just stagnate and gradually get better.

I’ve noticed recently some hair loss/thinning.  Some TSWers note that their hair thins out or they lose their eyebrows.  Thankfully my eyebrows haven’t gone anywhere, but I do notice that any body hair is growing back slower (like when I shave my legs) and that the hair on my head is really getting fine and limp.  I had relatively fine, straight hair to begin with, so now it just looks stringy and disgusting to me.  Plus it’s a terribly grown-out version of one of those punky haircuts that’s longer in the front and spiky in the back, now it’s just sort of a shapeless short bob.I’ve been saying I’ll go back to short hair when I am seeing vast improvements in TSW because then I won’t feel I have to hide, but having really short hair is so much easier and there isn’t that much more that I can hide with my shapeless mop at the moment, as it doesn’t cover my neck and only goes down to my chin at the longest part. So maybe I’ll go back to having something like the below pictures, a la Halle Berry or Victoria Beckham.  The only problem with having hair that short, as a female with average, non-movie star looks like me, is that you really have to wear a bit of makeup and somewhat feminine clothing to help people understand you’re not a little boy (at least for me).   Basically I just don’t want to look like the same tired  sickly version of myself with a bad haircut… LOL.  But, you get to the point where you don’t care what people think anymore, and I’m at that point.  Comfort and convenience is going to trump vanity here.  I WILL be getting a short haircut, it’s just a matter of when I can find the time.

Short-spiky-pixie-haircut

HalleBerry-spiky-hair

Victoria Beckham

 

 

 

 

 

And now – If you are the spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend of someone going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal, I’ve amassed a list of helpful, caring, loving things you can say to make that person’s burden a little easier!

“I don’t mind you itching all the time, but why don’t we hold hands or hug so then your hands will be distracted?!?”

“Don’t worry about all those flakes in the bed, we can vacuum those.  I don’t think they’re disgusting at all!”

“Let me help you put together your most comfortable outfits, so that you can feel good and not itchy.”

“I don’t think you need any more stress in your life, so I’m going to help with most of the housework.”

“You know, red is the new black this year.  I hear it’s highly fashionable.  You just happen to be fashionable head to toe!”

“You really need to keep your strength up with healing from this TSW.  Why don’t I buy you dinner from [insert favorite place here].”

“No, of course I don’t mind that you just want to stay in the house all day like a hermit!  Let me keep you company and we can watch a movie together.”

“Let’s go for a walk/run/bikeride together.  Being in the fresh air and exercising will help you forget about your skin for a bit and de-stress!”

“Your skin is looking better today!  I promise you that probably no one is noticing it!”

“I admire you for persevering through this – you are a warrior!”

“I never mind you complaining about your skin.  It must be terrible and even though I can’t understand it first-hand, I’m always here if you want to vent.”

“I know YOU may not feel beautiful, but I know you are.  It will just be a matter of time before you’re just as beautiful on the outside again as you are on the inside!”

“Of course I still find you attractive!  TSW doesn’t mean you’re not sexy anymore.  And if you prefer, we can make love with the lights off.”

Did I miss anything on this list?  What else would you like to hear from those that are supporting you in your TSW journey?

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13 thoughts on “Things to Say if You Are The Spouse/Partner of Someone with TSW

  1. Amanda says:

    I love those haircuts but would be way too nervous to get something that short on myself! I don’t want people seeing my face, LOL.

    I think those things you mentioned are AWESOME and you should make those Ryan Gosling memes with them. (Like this one: http://diaryofaceliac.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/20120824-191051.jpg?w=551 or this one: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyucd2cAew1roeq33o1_500.jpg) Doooo it! 🙂

    • I think you could totally rock it! With the pictures I’ve seen of you, it would look sassy! But it’s a pain in the ass to grow back if you ever want long hair again, I’ve tried and always given up, haha.

      AHH! That would be awesome to make! Those are great. You know what is sad though, I’m kind of technologically impaired, I don’t know how to make a meme. But it can’t be that hard, I’m sure I can figure it out 🙂

  2. I ❤ you and your thoughts. Is that statement a bit much? Have I had a cocktail or two at this point? Fine. Awesome post, though.

  3. Cindy says:

    Oh my, I think I love you already, and the way you think. Those things to say are so sweet. ❤

  4. joey says:

    This probably won’t win me any popularity contests, but how about this. TSW is a period of suck, your gonna be self conscious, feel like shit, feel ugly, unsexy, good sleep will be a thing of the past, & you will be full of fear, anxiety & uncertainty. Instead of bullshitting yourself about how things are you accept the reality & ride out the wave of suck because you know that this is a long term investment. If you really do have TSW. It will likely be the best investment you make in your entire life.

    While you ride out this wave, you nurse your partner or yourself through this hard time and maybe it will make you stronger or the two of you together stronger.

    • Yes Joey I like your blunt honesty about TSW. I couldn’t agree more. I accept this reality even when it is a big pile of suck. I personally like to tread a balance between being optimistic in healing (not to the point of delusion) but also acceptance and knowing it’s okay to wallow in feeling like crap.

  5. hpesthetics says:

    Reblogged this on eczemancipated and commented:
    EczemaExcellence had the loveliest list of encouraging words to say while your family/spouse/friend toughs out the TSWithdrawals. They made me chuckle and nod in agreement.

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