I’m not posting any pictures of myself, because I want to keep this blog anonymous. But let me just tell you that without eczema, I personally think I am a reasonably cute girl. Not gorgeous, not striking, not even really that sexy (although I guess my husband would say yes to all the above, and that’s why I love him), but cute enough. Short of any shameless self-promotion, I would say my best facial feature is my smile.
Then a terrible thing happened.
ECZEMA STOLE MY SMILE.
Since the last post, my eczema was kinda okay on the weekend, and as soon as the week started, it was back to its special unsightly self. Ever since that damn remedy, and going back to work really, I have these really red, dry patches. The skin around my eyes is puffy in the morning (like my eyelids) and the skin around and under the eye is dry, so of course it’s picking up every darn wrinkle. As I work in my fluorescent lit office environment, my skin feels tighter and drier and TIGHTER and DRIER as the day wears on.
Today, I also had allergies really bad, i.e. my nose was running like a faucet. This of course began to irritate the already dry and sensitive skin under my nose, so that by the end of the day it was red, dry, and flaking.
When your face is feeling tight and uncomfortable, do you want to smile? HELLZ NO! You want to just slump into your chair, adopt a neutral expression, do your work for the day, pray no one comments, and rush home as soon as it’s quittin’ time. Laughing or smiling anymore than a halfway grin makes the dry patches on my face wrinkle up in weird and unsightly manners… so I didn’t adopt any of my normal animated and mirthful expressions.
I began to go out of my way to avoid people this week. I didn’t smile or talk much. I skipped school. I didn’t feel like exercising. THIS IS NOT ME! THE CUTE GIRL UNDER ALL THIS ECZEMA WANTS TO COME OUT AND PLAY AND FEEL CAREFREE AGAIN!